take my heart w you~

L.O.S.T

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

emo-ing is a part of everyday life. just like periods -.- haha (:

~~i lost it.. i serously did.~~

i wasnt threatening you when i said. i'd never love again. i dont know why. i just lost the feeling. it aint like i dont dare to. maybe im mad i love the pain so much. i'm not lack of confidence or whatsoever. since when i lack it. you were my last betting chip. i lost it. maybe i'd never get that feeling again. looking at couples doing sweet whatsoever together. i was kinda envious.but i never though of owing it.maybe one day i'll get it back. but upon seeing sadness. i just rather stay alone. the third party always sees the situtation better.

there are others who passed by, trying to enter. but they never got in. i dont know why either. no feelings maybe. i cant seem to put feeling in. maybe im just timid. i dont wanna face it again. from the bottom of my heart i hate it. it happened 11 times. what you guys are thinking from your action and words i can literally predict your steps. whats the point. seriously i dont see it. i hate my past.

~~i dont hate you. before you everything was gone.you were the one who forced me to pick up the pieces and go on. but when you left the pieces fell off again . down deep into the sea..~~

~~june 13.. its 2.5 mths down . i've already put off the hopes of getting back. i dont want to either. cos no matter what it done. its lost too.~~

i tried to cover the real me. lost scared selfcentered.. facing everyday with a plastered smile.. i started to think of the past the first time a guy confessed, 7 years. what have i been doing. all the wrong decisions made all the regrets all that had been lost. everyday i try to recover for what i've lost. my studies, my friendship. i must. its my life..

~~but i dont think love would ever come back .. it wont..~~
~~but maybe.. i dont know.~~
the moment i saw him my heart raced. it had neer happened in years. today when i saw someone with your backview. it raced again. the exicitment, the hopes. it wasnt you though. but even thinking it i was able to put the smile for forever. being together. nahs it aint possible. haha

~~reality is devastating, a tradegy, sad..~~
for the ones who try to open the door. please dont . you dont have the key.
for those who are bent on doing so. your searching for a needle in a haystack. you may try. i wont stop you.
for those who tried. thankyou. i tried to accept but...

~~you may not be able to do it again. but he may. cos in my dreams he's mine . out of reality out of pain.~~

~~fantasy..~~

~~when everything is lost, the future remains. my future. not ~~our~~ future..~~